One of my biggest flaws is that I’m so indecisive. Not the cute, “I really can’t choose between chocolate and vanilla because they’re both so good” kind. I’m talking about real indecisiveness that has annoyed my friends, family and boyfriend on occasions.
Sometimes indecisiveness is good, of course. Or at least I try to justify that by saying that I’m indecisive because I’m a perfectionist who wants every single one of my choice to be the best that I can make at the given point (which is true). But it can be slightly frustrating too, especially when it comes to my wardrobe.
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that I’ve been grappling with finding my personal style for the past few years. For the longest time, my personal style was this ever-changing thing, another example of my indecisiveness.
It’s normal, of course, for people to change up their personal style from time to time. After all, isn’t that an appeal of personal style itself – that it’s something that you can reinvent time and time again depending on where you are in life? But in my case, it’s slightly different. My fashion “phases” were fleeting, never lasting for more than few weeks or months, which is short in comparison to most people’s. But more importantly, they never really reflected the way that I felt and what I wanted to express to the outside world. It’s not until recently that this began to change.
I’m saying this very carefully, but I think I might’ve finally discovered, or started to discover, my personal style.
I’d always thought that the day I start to discover my personal style, it would be for a single, clear reason. But honestly, this discovery process has been kick-started by a few different ones.
First of all, there is the age factor. At 22, I’m by no means old nor more mature than most, but there’s no denying that feeling more comfortable in your own skin and style is much easier after your teenage years. You start to meet new people with different styles and perspectives, meaning that you judge and are judged less for the most part. As an adult, I’ve also been especially fortunate to be surrounded by mostly open-minded people who value artistic expressions, including different fashion senses and personal styles. Not to mention that moving abroad has also given me the chance to meet more people of different types and get inspired by their styles.
There’s also the realization that personal style shouldn’t only be about feeling beautiful, but also feeling yourself. It might seem obvious, but it’s a challenging thought to internalize when you grew up and live in a society that values beauty over originality for the most part. I’m still learning to remind myself that on a regular basis. It’s definitely a process.
Finally, as time goes by, you learn that some things will stress you out, make you feel anger and frustration the way that you’ve never felt. But you also learn that confidence shouldn’t be one of them. The past months have been particularly tough on me, but it was the kind of tough that reminds me to spend just a bit more time doing what makes you happy instead of caring about what people think. The kind that reminds me that there are already so many issues in life, so caring about people’s judgment on my style really shouldn’t be one.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s no easy solution to finding your personal style. It’s different for everyone and most importantly, it’s a process that involves many factors. If there was one thing that I could say to my teenage self regarding personal style is that to just enjoy the ride and try more new things.
How do you feel about your personal style? Are you still trying to discover it, fully confident in it or somewhere in between? I’m interested in hearing your thoughts!